Zack Morris - Story of My Life

For the first time in 6 years, I finally have faith in my country again. It’s official, the democrats won majorities in both the House and Senate, most governors are democrats, old Rummy resigned, we have Nancy Pelosi as the first female speaker of the House, it’s almost like I woke up in Canada. Phew, now I don’t have to move.

On Tuesday I went to a calling party for MoveOn.Org. They made almost 7 million calls to people in swing states and had a very real impact on this election. That, combined with bald faced naked corruption on the part of the Republicans, gave the people a voice for the first time in, hmm, well I guess my lifetime. I’m not even joking, the last time I remember something going my way in politics was when Clinton got elected! (more…)

Once again it’s been friggin’ forever since my last post, but here is yet another costume from the recesses of my mind. If you haven’t figured it out yet, the headline says it all:

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So my buddy got a DUI last weekend and we bailed him out at 7 am. I’m not going to go into a lot of details, but basically he was just barely over. So ya that sucked. It’s hard for us old timers to remember that the limit isn’t what it always was, something reasonable like 0.10. I won’t go into a lot of details, but needless to say, the highlight of the night was when his wife told the cop “can you at least give me my f***ing tampons!” It seems that he was the only cop who had a clue what was going on, kind of a tough looking fellow, who seemed almost irritated that the other cop was giving such a hard time to a, well, almost sober person. Kind of ironic. (more…)

Well, it’s been a year since my last post, so figured it was time for an update, just in time (belatedly) for Halloween.

This costume was HOT going downtown. Budumbump chish.

What do we have here…
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9x3 inch 300 dpi bumper sticker and banner ad sized images available here and here. If those don’t work, try here and here.

    It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. At least Cheney is not yet emperor. After thinking on the current state of affairs for a day, I have decided to revise my advice on what to do about Bush. Leaving the country is not an option, and neither is bankruptcy, I was just reaching for something quick to ease the pain, besides beer. No, we have to just be vigilent and stay the course. Thousand points of light. Maybe we need more mind numbing phrases like the Republican PR machine uses. I have begun plastering my car’s bumper with stickers for Kerry/Edwards and gems like “losing faith in humanity one person at a time”. Let’s come up with some bumper stickers for Bush.
    What do you think of my first attempt? Our mission is to discredit the robber barons anyway we can, like the political cartoons of the 19th century, showing big fat men in suits driving their trains over the backs of the working class. The body count in Iraq has now passed 100,000, but since they weren’t Americans, they evidently don’t matter to whoever elected Bush. Well, they matter to me. The political cartoons showing the situation in Iraq would be so distasteful today that we would all vomit and pass out. Perhaps making fun of the situation is not appropriate, but we can at least humiliate George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, John Asscroft, Condoleezza Rice, and unfortunately Colin Powell (hey, I liked that guy!!!) directly. I mean, come on guys, this is probably the easiest administration to spit on since Nixon. (more…)

    Well, I’m writing this before the election has officially been called, but it appears that John Kerry has lost (I even voted way out here in the republican stronghold of Idaho, to try to throw off the popular vote). I admit that I was pretty sure he would lose, because America has not woken up in the dozens of fundamental ways that would be required for the country to make such a large change in direction as to dump Bush. This was by far the worst campaign of smoke and mirrors and misdirection that I have ever seen (easily dwarfing the 2000 election which resulted in George W. Bush being elected merely because his name happened to be Bush). It’s amazing to think that Kerry could lose due to a few choice phrases from Karl Rove, namely flip flop and waffles. It’s amazing that Kerry’s 30 year old war and post war record (one of the most patriotic performances of the post Vietnam era) would be brought back to discredit him. It’s amazing that Bush won mainly because people were too afraid to dethrone a sitting president in wartime (never mind that Bush started the war with a sovereign country). I could continue for many pages, but that is not the point of this entry.
    No, what I would like to tell all of you is that it’s time to look on the bright side: Bush has to clean up the disaster of his first term. Kerry is off the hook, and we will have four more years of side splitting jokes at Bush’s expense. Maybe it is good that when the fall happens, democrats will not be responsible. We have facts staring us in the face that spin will not alleviate. No amount of military might can save Iraq. The deficit has now passed the point of no return, since republicans have never lowered it in my lifetime. The wealth imbalance has also passed critical mass, since the minimum wage is a joke at 1/3 the liveable wage, while CEOs are getting million dollar bonuses for bankrupting corporations. Baby boomers are reaching retirement age, and even republicans know that privatizing social security will not help the elderly. These are all catastrophic disasters, so sit back, enjoy the show, and maybe even toss in a few “I told you so”s now and then. (more…)

Here is my halloween costume for this year. If a flip flop can vote for Kerry, can’t you? (5 pictures total)

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After seeing P. Diddy’s mohawk and other oddities on the MTV Video Music Awards, I realized that I no longer want my MTV. Do you want it? If you know anyone that wants it, please notify them that the mohawk they are sporting is no longer (and never was) in style and to please not vote this November. I pity da foo.

9x3 inch 300 dpi bumper sticker and banner ad sized images available here and here. If those don’t work, try here and here.

Image from digibarn.com

    Ordinarily I love Google. It is the closest thing to an AI (artificial intelligence) that I have come across, and has made me 100 times more productive (ok and more lazy) than I was growing up. But that doesn’t mean that it is perfect. The good old boy mafia that runs our country is always trying to get a piece of the action, and they have done a brilliant job with Google. In order to prevent companies from becoming too powerful, there are rules that make a company publish its records to the SEC once it makes a certain amount of money. Ordinarily that is a very good thing, for scary companies like Microsoft or Enron. But Google is not a regular company. Google is a geek’s paradise, doing everything the “right way” and curiously making outrageous sums of money as it runs circles around the competition. My complaint is not so much with Google, but with the fat cats and market makers that understand human nature and how to exploit the poor.
    Google went public today at $85 per share. There has been discussion at slashdot about why this number is so important. In my humble opinion, this isn’t about market cap and valuation, this is about human nature. I would bet all of the money in the world, all of the money ever printed, that when a good company opens at $85, it will very quickly go over $100, due to psychology. That is precisely what happened. Now that in and of itself is no big deal, until you consider who makes the profit. (more…)